


A Written Heart

by ILovedYouAtMidnight



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:56:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9291230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILovedYouAtMidnight/pseuds/ILovedYouAtMidnight
Summary: Encouraged by her therapist to keep a journal as way to let out her emotions, Katniss finds herself writing about her best friend, Peeta Mellark. What happens when he mistakenly reads it? What has she written?





	

**_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 21 years old. I am a senior at Capitol University. I have a sister and mother. My father is dead. My therapist is making me do this._ **

 

Katniss lets out a frustrated groan before scribbling out what she just wrote. After her father was killed in a construction accident, she shoved her grief in a box and locked it up so she could take care of her little sister, Prim, when it appeared her mother had checked out. It worked for her, well, until 2 years ago. 

It was after hearing of a similar accident that the nightmares began again. She stopped sleeping and became a shell of herself. Under the advice of a friend, she started seeing a therapist. The only one accepting new patients happened to be an overly enthusiastic woman who goes by Effie. It was her who suggested keeping a journal.

“Write any thought or feeling you’re having at the time. Anything and everything!. It will make a big, big, big difference!” she said it with so much vigor, Katniss had agreed just to get her to shut up. ‘Stream of consciousness’ or whatever it was Effie used to try to sell her the idea. It was a hail mary, a last ditch effort to get her to let out her feelings in some way since talking about it didn’t seem like it was going to happen, even after all this time. Words are just not her thing. No, that is Peeta’s. He can paint masterpieces with his words. If she were honest with herself, if she really wrote down what was on her mind, it would be his name over and over. Like she was in detention copying lines.

Peeta has been her best friend since Senior year. Despite being in the same class since kindergarten, they had never spoken to each other. That all changed on their last first day at District 12 High. During the start of year assembly, Seniors received a year-long assignment: _an in-depth presentation of who you are, your growth throughout this final grade school year and your impact on the lives of others_. Sounded easy enough, there wasn’t much for her to have to write about herself and she can talk about her relationship with Prim, who was her whole world. Then the curveball came: it was to be done in pairs.

Little did she know, Peeta was going to work his way into her heart by the end of the year. They learned everything about each other. The good, the bad, the real, the fake. They grew together. Peeta calls it fate; she calls it Johanna. It was revealed after graduation by a very drunk Johanna that she had hacked the school computers, making sure that Katniss and Peeta were paired for the project.

Four years later, Jo is still teasing her about gazing at him with doe eyes and that he looks at her like she is everything. Of course a scoff is the response every time. To think Peeta could even perceive anything in her except friendship is laughable. No, he is unaware of how she admires him, how she thinks of him. He is sunshine itself and she, a mere shadow.

 

**_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 21 years old. My best friend is Peeta Mellark. I am in love with my best friend._ **

 

She rips the page and crumples it. A knock on the door causes her to throw the wad of paper across the room in surprise.

“Hey, everything okay? I could practically hear your frustration from my room.” Annie always know when something is bothering Katniss. They met freshman year in the dining hall, Katniss looking for a quiet corner to hide out in stumbled upon Annie who seemed to have had the same idea. The familiarity between them was instantaneous. When they became juniors they decided to get an apartment together. She had experienced loss and helped Katniss realize it was time for her to take care of herself. It was she who recommended therapy. If anyone could help her break through this block, it would be Annie.

Katniss covers her face and groans, she hates asking for help but this is turning out to be worse than studying for finals. “Effie seems to finally be at her breaking point with me. She’s been trying everything to get me to talk but I’m just not good at facing my emotions and allowing others in. She suggested…very strongly, that I keep a journal. I can’t even make a grocery list! How am I supposed to write what I’m thinking or feeling? I can’t do it! It makes it too real!”

“Ah, the dreaded journal,” Annie looks at her sympathetically. “I remember struggling with that too. I spent months trying with just a mountain of trashed pages to show for it. Did she tell you anything specific to write?”

“No! I feel like no matter what I write, it will be wrong. I keep trying but all I do it write the same thing every time. My name and age. How did you do it? Can you just write it for me? Effie will never know.”

Annie laughs and shakes her head. “Nope, not happening. But I will give you a suggestion. On one condition.”

“What? I promise to do, or not do, whatever you want! Please just help me!” Katniss jumped at the chance for advice, ready to beg for it if she had to.

“You can’t judge it until you try it.”

“Okay, I promise. What is it?”

“Fanfiction.”

“Uhh, Annie, I don’t see how I could do that and pass it off as a personal journal. How is that supposed to help?”

“I know you read fanfiction, you’ve left tumblr up on your computer too many times to count for me not to have noticed. So I’m suggesting that you try writing some. Use parts of your life as inspiration and grow the story into what you want for yourself in real life.”

“I can’t believe you snooped my tumblr!” Katniss feels the blood rushing to her face as she thinks about what Annie may have seen.

“Oh, don’t worry. We all have our guilty pleasures and secret tumblrs. No one else knows about it. Not even Finnick, I swear. But I’m serious, it helped me a lot. Plus, the smut translates really well into real life. I’ve learned a lot,” Annie says with a dreamy look on her face.

“I did not need to know that. Thank you very much,” Katniss grumbles.

“Oh come on, you know you love it. I want you to promise me you’ll try it. The fanfiction part I mean,” Annie says as she leaves the room but stops at the door. “Well, the smut too,” she can’t help giggling at the scandalized look on Katniss’s face.

Deciding to take a break before taking Annie’s suggestion, Katniss shoves her notebook in her bag and heads out the door. Peeta always has to work at his parents’ bakery on Saturdays and while she hates the possibility of running into his witch of a mother, she’s walking through the door 5 minutes later. She releases a sigh of relief when she sees it’s him behind the counter, he must have finished his work in the kitchen already. There are a few people in line so she stands off to the side and observes his interaction with the old woman ordering. She can’t help but admire, and be slightly jealous of, his instant rapport with customers. He doesn’t know the effect he has on people, or maybe he does, just not when it comes how he affects her.

At that precise moment, Peeta locks eyes with her, his smile growing. He motions with his head to a table in the corner by the register so she makes her way over to wait for him. While she waits for him to help the other customers, Katniss finds she can’t take her eyes off him. The way his white _Mellark’s Bakery_ shirt fits so perfectly, stretched across his muscular body that comes from years of wrestling for school. The flex of his arms as he packages the orders. His sweet boyish smile and twinkling eyes. The flour streaked across his face and speckles his blonde curls that he is completely unaware of. He is perfect. In every way except one: he’s not hers.

That last sobering thought brings her back to earth and she sadly pulls her focus away from him. She loves him after she swore to never love anyone except her sister. She couldn’t risk turning out like her mother if she were to lose him. Though she knows it’s too late for that, even with him as just her best friend, she’d be damaged beyond repair if he were gone. The idea of losing him in any way is what has kept her from trying for more. She thinks maybe Annie was really onto something with this fan fiction idea after all. 

Katniss pulls the notebook out of her bag but before she has the chance to open it, a plate of cheese buns and a mug of hot chocolate are placed in front of her. She can’t help but to return the shy smile Peeta directs at her. 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you until tonight. What’s going on?”

It takes her a minute to form a somewhat coherent thought. “Oh, uh, I just needed a break, get out for a bit. There’s no food in the apartment and your buns were calling to me.” 

Peeta’s eyes go wide and his cheeks become adorably tinged with pink but Katniss is too mortified to notice. She can’t believe she said that. She frantically wracks her brain for some way to fix what she blurted out. “I, um, oh, I mean, ah, cheese buns! I meant, oh god, I meant I really wanted some buns. CHEESE buns. I’m…agh.” She wonders how she will ever be able to look him in the eye again.

“It’s okay, Katniss, I know my buns are irresistible.”

At this, she groans and hides her face in her hands. He can sense how embarrassed she is, “Really, it’s fine. I got what you meant. I hope-“ he’s interrupted by the jingle of the bell signaling a new customer. “I have to get back to work but I’ll come over when I get a chance. Enjoy the buns,” he finishes with a wink.

Katniss glares at the plate of the offending cheese buns before grabbing one and biting into it. She can’t help the moan she lets out. She’s too focused on taking a second bite to notice Peeta looking at her like he wishes he was the one making her moan like that, not the buns.

Once the plate is empty and her stomach full, Katniss figures it’s time to try writing. She pulls the notebook over, stares at the blank page for a couple minutes before she wants to give up again. She starts looking around to find something to distract herself with when her eyes land on Peeta. He’s in the middle of writing next week’s specials on the board, Katniss can’t decide where she wants to look first; the intricate meadow he’s drawing along the bottom, the way his hand moves effortlessly and with such fluidity, or admire how his jeans perfectly accentuate his shapely butt as he’s bent over. She’s biting her lip, staring at the latter when he suddenly looks back at her. She gives a little awkward wave before turning away to hide her face in the journal. With one more quick glance at him, she puts pen to paper and the words pour out.

 

 

**_She’s not a dress kind of girl but when she sees this one, she can’t resist. It’s the perfect muted shade of orange, his favorite shade. ‘Like a sunset,’ he always says. She grabs it off the hanger, heading straight to the register. She doesn’t think twice as she pays with her grocery money._ **

**_She takes one last look in the mirror, checking to make sure the dress looks okay. It fits like it was made just for her. She took it as a sign, not that she believed any of that stuff, but it seemed like the universe was telling her it was time. Time to tell her best friend she is in love with him. The sound of a key in the lock breaks her thoughts and she takes a deep breath before walking out of her room. She goes to take the bag of Chinese food out of his hand as he closes the door. She’s placing it on the table when she hears him gasp. She turns around to see he hasn’t moved away from the door, mouth open and eyes roaming over her body, unable to decide where they want to settle first. She feels herself flush from the look of want he’s giving her. But her anxiety quickly takes over and she becomes unsure if that was truly what she was seeing._ **

**_“I’m overdressed. I should go change. I’ll be right back,” she manages to squeak out.“What was I thinking? This was stupid,” she mumbles quietly to herself as she tries to make a quick escape to her room. She feels his hand on her wrist, stopping her in her tracks._ **

**_“No, don’t. If that wasn’t my already my favorite color, it would be now. You look absolutely radiant,” he says in awe._ **

**_“You don’t have to say that,” she replies quietly._ **

**_“Have you ever known me to lie to you?”_ **

**_“No. You’re the most honest person I’ve ever met.” It’s now or never, she tells herself, “It’s my turn to be completely honest. You’re my best friend, but you have no idea the effect you have on me. I never expected to be a part of your life, or you be a part of mine. I didn’t think I could ever let someone in, but you’ve taken root in my heart, in my soul. You are my past, present and god, do I want you to be my future. I’ve been too afraid of losing you to ever tell you before. But now I’m afraid of losing out on what we could have. Keeping this all in has become too much to contain. I love you. I have since we did that project senior year. Maybe even before then. You make me want the world, you are my world. I am so desperately in love with you, Peeta.” She finally takes a breath only to hold it when she look at him._ **

**_He opens and closes his mouth a few times before it looks like he’s about to—-_ **

 

 

“Earth to Katniss!” She jumps and slams the journal closed before realizing Peeta is behind the counter and not right next to her. “I’m almost done closing up. I’ll meet you at your place in half an hour. I’m going to clean up and I’ll grab takeout on my way over. Chinese sound good?”

“Yeah,” she chokes out. She clears her throat, “Chinese is great. I’ll pick out some movies to choose from.” She quickly grabs her stuff and heads home.

When she gets back to her apartment, she tosses the journal on the coffee table before she goes over to the bookcase that holds her and Annie’s extensive movie collection. After grabbing three vastly different options, she drops them on the table as she makes her way to the kitchen to get plates and a couple of beers.

She’s just opening the drinks when she hears Peeta knock as he opens the door. She hands off a beer on her way to the couch. He follows her lead, plopping down next to her. As they set the food out, she realizes she forgot the utensils. Peeta is great with the chopsticks, she on the other hand, is a disaster. She hops up heading into the kitchen to get what she needs.

“The movie options are right there on the table, you can pick what we watch first,” she yells out to Peeta. She hears a muffled ‘okay,’ a sign he’s already started in on the food. She decides to grab a couple more beers, so they don’t have to pause the movie, and heads back out. The TV is still off so she looks over to see if he’s decided when she sees her journal in his hand. Her open journal. She drops the forks but luckily not the beers.

Despite being startled by the noise, he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the words written on the page. “Peeta?” She says quietly, timidly.

Finally he looks at her and utters one word, one word that could change it all, “Real?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for mores2sl which is such a great way to raise money for an important cause. This is my first story so bear with me while I learn and work. This wouldn't have gotten done without the help of the amazing Mel (@lovesbiggerthanpride).
> 
> There will be more to this story. No decided number of chapters yet, we'll see where this story takes us & them!
> 
> I do not own any of these characters


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